So, there’s been a lot of hoop-la about sharks in the waters of Florida beachs lately. Just today, I was having lunch and guess what was on the news? Really, this is nothing new, Florida averages about 30 shark attacks a year, but with all the media fanfares, now that Eee-Hee-Jackel’s trial is over, why aren’t they doing more about it?
Wait, what’s this? Well, well, well, slap me silly, and call me a smart donkey, somebody has invented, drum roll please, the miraculous “Shark Shield”. It suppose to generate a electric field that annoys the hell out of the sharks, and it might even cause the shark to have horrible cramps and spasms if they get close enough. It’s targeted specifically to sharks, so it won’t harm you or any other marine lifes. The portability is so so, about the size of a laptop battery, with a 3 foot long hose attached to it for the electrodes.
Unfortunately, even with the new improvements, the original technology this is based on is only effective 60% of the times, which means 1/3 of the time, you are still shark bait, and the price tag for this thing is over $700. Come on Walmart, this is perfect investment opportunity for you guys. I’m sure you can get the price down to $69.99, and QVC will sell it for 3-easy payments of peanuts.
Well, time to strap on my laptop battery and jump into the boiling hot pool at the hotel.