Cow’s Life - Thinking Outside Of The Barn

If you are lucky enough to have a laptop and Internet connection in the conference room, here is a list of things you could do to kill some time while looking like heads down taking heavy notes:

• Play the Google game. Come up with a word or a phrase that generates most Google hits. Ok, this game is old, but I still like to play it. For example, “me” generates 1.18 billion matches, but “love” only generates 478 million. Are people selfish? “Christine Zheng” generates 265K and “Yuna” has 2.9 million!
• If you own a blog site, search happy words such as “laugh”, “happy”, “cheer” and write down the number of posts containing these words. Then search “sucks”, “crap”, and “damn”. Compare the results. I have 24 laughs/happy/cheer and 17 sucks/crap/damn. I guess I am generally a happy person who doesn’t whine too much? (idea inspired by Liz’s “The Searching For Joy”)
• Take the quiz and find out which fantasy/Sci-Fi character you are. I am Aragorn! Wow, no wonder he is my most favorite character in LOTR!
• Check out high resolution hurricane Wilma satellite image.

If you are unfortunately sitting in a conference room with neither computer nor internet connection, there are still amusing things to do with absolutely no resource. I shamelessly admit that I have done these things before:

Pretend to be Nemo who wants to date the Shark
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
A while ago when I was heavily playing Finding Nemo and constantly trying to run away from the chasing shark, I did try to pretend to be Nemo and imagine how it would be if I could date my shark friend and how this whole size thing works.

Holding your breath
(Amusement Potential: 5 seconds-20 minutes)
Not that much fun, but it sure passes the time. Some tips: hyperventilate before hand, and stay as still as possible. My personal best is less than a minute. No wonder I can’t swim that well. But be prepare to answer the project manager’s question, “Christine, why is your face turning blue?”

Use your secret mind power
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Pick the most annoying person in the room and try to use your mind power to command him/her tp do something, like drop the computer or slap the person right next to him/her. The law of averages dictates that sooner or later one of your mind commands will come true, so you can convince yourself that you really have super human powers and waste even more time trying them out. I tried to use my secret mind power to instruct the PM to say, “Ok, this is it for the day. Thanks for coming.”

It’s been a while since I ran a collaborative brew ha ha list after I launched the left link section. But after a few weeks of experiment, the left section doesn’t seem to catch much attention. So I am bringing back the brew list to highlight a few hahas.

If you have a story or a link you would like to share with other people, feel free to send it to me. Here is how.

• English 101 – the purpose of this course is to give every student a comprehensive look at the most used English word – the F word. Now, watch the video carefully.
  Exercise: Describe what you are doing at this moment by applying what you have just learned:
  Yuna turned in the following answer:

  It’s f@#king 8am on Sat and I am in an abso-f@#king-lutely boring architectural class that I don’t give a f@#k! F@#k the instructors who came up with this f@#ked up Wed – Sat schedule! Now, I sound in-f@#king-credibly rude.

  That’d be f@#king hilarious to Podcast this entry Thanks to RJ for submitting such a valuable education material.

• Paco is hungry and he wants to eat this. If you want to give it a try, make sure you have an ambulance ready if you have high cholesterol. And don’t touch any food afterwards since you would have consumed 104% fat for the day by the time you finish your breakfast.
• Kimmi is finally back on broadband after her broadband company decided to cut her speed down to dial up. Is that even legal in Australia? So, check out today’s photoblog - Mastercard Priceless moments

• To all the bloggers out there! If you are still a stats whore, check out this one click tool to find out your link popularity score. Thanks to Heavywinter for the link.

• This is one of my favorite diggs of the week. An algorithm is used to animate how people walk based on gender, mood and other factors. Check it out.

Ever since I wrote the post about losing bet to the MillionDollarHomePage, I got spammed by the copycats every now and then. Some of them shamelessly claimed that it’s their idea. There are also some honest ones admitting the borrowed idea but proudly put out their own designs.

A lot of people are speculating whether these copycats are actually making any money. Or, are they getting any traffic at all to their sites? So to answer these questions, I put a list together with some stats information of each site.

You will be surprised that this list is actually pretty long.

Continue…

Update on Oct 2: I am surprised to see so many creators of the “copy-cats” here and I learned that many of them are honest people who are just trying to make a few bucks, buy some homes, pay off the debt and plant a few trees with a borrowed idea. I have then expanded the list to include the honest ones and listed the possible scammers so people don’t fall into their traps. Wish everyone (the honest ones) luck with the pixel business!

It took me a few years to finally accept the thong concept and worked up the nerves to toss away a large portion of VS cotton panties in exchange of little pieces like this, this and this. But I have never stopped bitching about it. Seriously, this is the most uncomfortable thing that ever got invented! But I know if I am going down this path to talk about the crack-flossing pain, you’d think I whine too much.

So, to set the record straight once for all, I am going to give you 10 reasons why the THONG is one of the most dangerous fabrics exist in man kind history! And why it has the potentials to cause fashion disasters, emotional distresses, environmental hazards and social chaos:

1. Like I said earlier, it may cause environmental hazard when not worn properly
2. It may cause people to suffer from sudden heart failure
3. If not properly trained, people will be wearing thongs in all kinds of wrong ways like this, this, and this, thus causing UDS (underwear-disorder-syndrome)
4. Teens may be so emotionally involved that they decide to declare national holidays on there own.
5. People will easily use wrong sorts of materials such as this
6. Modern fashion would suffer a great deal if a thong is worn like this and this.
7. Certain thongswill severely challenge the average people’s intellectual capabilities to comprehend phrases like “wearing clothe” vs “not wearing clothe”
8. Soccer fans, one of the most devoted sports fans will lose their focuses.
9. People may start to use lab subjects such as this and this for their next creations and eventually piss off the animal rights organization.
10. And it is going to hurt when accident happens.

Ok, if you are still not convinced. Get this:
The thong was originally invented for men to cover their private parts while posing for the art classes during World War II. So for the sake of respecting the history, every guy should put it on and experience the new kind of floss for at least one day. Then, we can all decide if we want a root canal or a butt-floss.

Here is the complete photoblog entry.

Bad Boy Question

Potential bad boy: “Whenever people mention bay boys, the girls all go “wooooo” and “woooow”. I want to be a bad boy but how?”
Yuna: “Ok… first of all, you should know that…”
Potential bad boy: “I should throw socks around in the house?”
Yuna: “No, that’s called annoying.”
Potential bad boy: “Never return phone calls?”
Yuna: “No, that’s called being rude.”
Potential bad boy: “Oh…oh… I know… I am going to date two women at the same time, no… three…no …four.. the more the better..?”
Yuna: “Sweetie, that’s called cheating…”
Potential bad boy: “Wait! It just strikes me that if I do ALL of these stuff, I’d be the hottest bad boy on the block…!”

Ok. This is sort of kind of a joke I wrote based on a McDonald commercial I heard on radio this morning.

Now the burning question is why a lot of women are into bad boys? Young or old, we love those yummy handsome tall bad boys and ignore the chubby short Mr. Nice guys. Although the girls start to shift their focuses after aging a few years and hearing enough horror stories, there are still a lot of good boys not getting the dates they deserve.

Askmen.com has an article just to answer this question.

Smart Questions Asked

• Q: How to get the Police reports into the newspaper?
  A: Think the reporters have some special accesses that we don’t? If you go to a police station every morning, you can be a crime reporter as well. All it takes are a few good cups of coffee and some friendly conversations. Oh, and a scanner. Read on!
• Q: I dream about drier laundry. How do I get drier clothe?
  A: Ever got frustrated by the lousy dryer that never dries your clothe? Scientists found the cure for that problem. A “chemical wringer” developed by researchers in Florida leaves clothes 20 percent drier than a normal wash, and could save consumers millions in electricity bills.

Blow Job Question

Potential blow job diva: Yuna, How to give a proper blow job?
Yuna: What???!!!
Potential blow job diva: Yuna, it’s a slice of my daily life.
Yuna: : That’s a valid argument… but my name is not Monica.
Potential blow job diva: Seriously , how to give a proper blow job?
Yuna: : Alright…Alright… I guess I will have to write a guide for you, beats getting advices from Cosmo girls. (Guys, girls talk here so click that link at your own risk!)

• Fewer than half of the 16,200 major league baseball players have ever hit a home run.
• The Starbucks at the highest elevation is on Main Street in Breckenridge, Colorado. Guys, did we hit that spot? If not, we gotta go this year!
• It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
• Michael Jordan made more money from Nike each year than all the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
• Yuna’s IL license plate is 514-xxxx. “514″ and “I want to die” sound alike in Chinese. And people in China and Japan die disproportionately on the 4th of each month because the words death and four sound alike. Should I change my IL to CO and get a better number?
• In many countries, a bunny rabbit represents Easter. In Switzerland, children get eggs from the Easter cuckoo
• The California Department of Motor Vehicles has issued six driver’s licenses to six different people named Jesus Christ.
• The RIAA sued an 83 year old woman for downloading music illegally, even though a copy of her death certificate was sent to the RIAA a week before it filed the suit.
• All of Queen Anne’s 17 children died before she did.
• The average person laughs 15 times a day.
• Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.
• Fortune cookies were actually invented in America, in 1918, by Charles Jung. Proof: Yuna lived in China for 16 years and never saw a single Fortune cookie until she ate in Golden Dragon in Nashville, TN
• US once issued a 5-cent bill.
• A sneeze travels out your mouth at over 100 m.p.h
• During your lifetime, you’ll eat about 60,000 pounds of food. That’s the weight of about 6 elephants.
• February 1865 was the only month in recorded history that didn’t have a full moon.
• Superman is featured on every episode of “Seinfeld”, either by name or pictures on Jerry’s refrigerator.
• An average American will spend an average of 6 months during his lifetime waiting at red lights.
• In 1963, baseball pitcher Gaylord Perry remarked, “They’ll put a man on the moon before I hit a home run.” On July 20, 1969, a few hours after Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon, Gaylord Perry hit his first (and only) home run.

I climb with mostly guys, so sometimes the conversations can go a bit too rough for my ears… but it was all good fun…

Trust the rubber

Climbing background: Climbers wear special rock shoes to climb. The bottom of the shoes is made of special rubber that generates a great deal of friction.
We were at Deckers this past weekend. One of our climbers was on a route that’s consist of two rock surfaces with little or no foot holds. He wouldn’t commit the move so his belayer tried to give him a tip but that didn’t come out right,
“SPREAD YOUR LEGS AND TRUST THE RUBBER!!!”
The girls to our right were rolling…

Yuna’s midget balls

Climbing background: Climbers use chalk or chalk balls to chalk up their hands for better gripping performance.
I was resting on the wall chalking up my hands. I have used the chalk ball for a while so it got really small and slipped through my fingers and fell to the ground. So I yelled to the crowd to apologize,
“Sorry guys, I dropped my ball. It’s too small…. I have another one in my bag!”.
Ever since then, I earned the reputation as a climber with two midget balls.

The crack joke

Climbing background: Crack climbing is a kind of climb where the rock surface is predominantly a crack. It’s very different from the regular surface climb.
I was climbing a really ugly all-crack route where I had no way to cheat with any surface holds. I got so frustrated and didn’t think of the words that came out of my mouth,
“CRAP! I SUCK ON THIS CRACK!”
Then I heard this blast of laughs and someone asked, ‘Whose crack are you sucking on?”

Thanks to Paco, Kimmi, Liz and Traveling Aussie for the following submissions.

If you have a story or a link you would like to share with other people, feel free to send it to me. Here is how.

• NFL regular season starts tonight with an opening game between Oakland and New England on ABC. Are you ready for SOME FOOTBALL? Check out some greatest actions caught on moving GIF from last season. A few of my favorites: Manning gets a nasty hit, OUCH! ; Cool jukes pulled by Hall; Watch DeAngelo Hall’s unbelievable move to intercept the ball. Thanks to Paco for the link.
• Tired of using your own mouse? Would you like an upgrade? Check out this new mouse. (Turn on the sound and hear the conversation) .
• Travling Aussie argues taht acocdrnig to an elgnsih unviesitry sutdy the oredr of letetrs in a wrod dosen’t mttaer, the olny thnig thta’s iopmrantt is that the frsit and lsat ltteer of eevry word is in the crcreot ptoision. The rset can be jmbueld and one is stlil able to raed the txet wiohtut dclftfuiiy. And if Wrod qiut corerctnig my spelinlg,I’d be dnon tpying tihs siht lnog tmie ago!!!
• Ever wonder how large is a large Yo-Yo? Liz (Me Strauss ) has an interesting post on the Yo-Yo topic. And sadly, Yuna can’t play Yo-Yo.
• Having trouble stacking up your documents? Try to use a rubber band. That’d help.
• This is a very inspiring story. A mom with no arms is capable of doing anything with her feet from dressing the babies to holding drinks. Watch this video. It’s a very large file (4mb), so be patient

Thanks to Kimmi for all the video files.

This is another compiled list of goodies submitted from the village’s readers. There are few more reader submissions will be featured in the next a few days when I return from my vacation. Thanks to all of you who took the time to send in the goodies.

To find out how you can submit a link or a story, check here.

Potential Serial Killer Material
Although I know I am never a dangerous nor a violent person, I sometimes have the internal rage that I just can’t explain. When I was hooked playing the Grand Auto Theft games, I would wander around on the streets, beat someone to death, take the money and run. I know it sounds terrible even though it happened in a 3D virtual environment. So when Paco sent me this link which tests your serial killer potential, I was pretty curious to find out if I had something hidden that I didn’t know about. I only scored a low 7 and my evaluation was read as following,

The odd quirk in your personality is nothing to worry about, it might even be getting you a few more social invites than the more dull among us. So party on, you’re not a threat to society.

Whew… that’s really nice to know that I am no threat to the society. Take the test and find out your potential. If you score 100, find the nearest boxing gym or lay your hands on the Grand Auto Theft games like I did.

Hello Mama and Papa
This is a no Ha-Ha material. I called my Mom after I watched this slide show titled as To Daughters and Sons. Watch the show, and then call your mom, dad, granny, neighbor, snowman or whoever brought you up and tell them you love them.
(It is a powerpoint slide show. So click on the link, and then click “open”. It will play on the browser). Thanks to Bib for the submission.

Looking For My Fairy
Shirazi from Pakistan wrote a beautiful story “Looking For My Fairy” that takes us to the far- far away Northern Pakistan Alpines. You can find some more of his travel journals in south Asia on his own blog site Light Within. Yes, it is all in English.

Virtual Apple
If you are an Apple addict and old enough to remember the glory days Apple had enjoyed in the late 80’s and early 90’s, you’d remember the old school Apple 2 games. I used to be so addicted to those games that I almost got fired from my lab job. Anyway, Virtual Apple has a library with an entire collection of the old Apple 2 games. Check it out. Thanks to RJ for the link.

Cosmopolitan Sept issue got a few guys to take a crack at penning the cover lines:

• “Sit Back, relax, and I will do all the work” 33 Things he wants to hear
• Engagement-Ring Trend – Glass looks better than diamonds
• Yeast infections and why you should never mention them to your man ever, ever again
• Confessions of a desperate boyfriend “I held her purse for two hours”
• Male mysteries solved – Why rolling over and falling asleep means he loves you. And other fascinating facts
• Leaving the seat up – 12 secret ways guys show they are committed
• You + Him + Your best friend = Great Idea
• Chick flicks and why they can harm your man

As a token of my appreciation to the guys who spitted out their Dark Side, here are a few cover lines I wrote for GQ or Maxim (whoever wants to pay me.. )

• 4 Famous Names You Must Know And Why: Tiffany, Channel, Louis Vuitton and Fendi (No, you can’t date them)
• Breaking news from the science research – why do you think women are whining when they are simply just talking
• Why Bad Boys Night Out Could Harm Your Health And Your Relationship
• Hello Couch! 10 Better Things To Do Around The House
• Your Wallet + 30 Carat Ring = Great Idea
• A Dude Who Just Never Grow Up - A Forever Kid’s Story

Ok, gals and guys, if you’ve got some cover lines to share, comment on!