Quiz Of The Week — Pick Out The Onions
Some of the following news are genuine and worth reading (or not) and some are just phony baloney Onion news I made up (Noop, no copying from onion.com). Pick out the Onions among the real news. Oh, some of them are half/half, take a guess which part is real and which part is fake.
Game rule: The only asset you can use are your eyeballs to read and your tired brain to think. No cheating with yahoo or google please.
1. Sony developed a new police robot dog to protect your neighborhood
After the success of Sony’s Aibo, the robot dog that could interact with the human owners, Sony has teamed up with Carnegie Mellon University to develop a well-equipped police dog Aibo K9, model 350. Aibo K9 is much larger in size (See photo) and has a highly intelligent sniffing system that can detect almost anything from a missing person’s scent to heroin. Another breakthrough is Aibo K9’s speed. Although still running on battery, the K9 model can reach 40+ mph chasing speed. With it’s built in laser shock gun weapon system, the robot can nail any target in close range. After field training and testing, the first team of 2 dogs will be distributed to the Philadelphia police station in the next 3 months.
2.A dog owner accused of exposing phone sex to its under-aged dog
After having phone sex for number of hours, Dick, a pet dog owned by a Minnesota resident passed out in its bed. See Photo. The owner of the dog, Mr.Niles was accused of exposing explicit contents including pages of 1-900 number ads to the 8 month old dog Dick. Dick was later treated by the vet for dehydrating and heart issues. The owner was fined $399 by the county court and banned from storing any type of porn related materials in his residence until Dick turns 2, an age believe to be the start of a dog’s adulthood.
3. The New York City rats are gathering donations to help the starving Colorado rats.
Aug 1, 2005. Mr. Black Fatty Jr.(left), the underworld rat city mayor of NYC made an emergency announcement to gather donations to save the starving Colorado rats. Due to the human world’s “Leave No Trace” campaign in Colorado State, the rats are not able to find sufficient amount of food this summer. All garbage bags are stored in bear proof trash cans and the human are not tossing any trash on the trails. “As proud New York City residents, we have been lucky enough to find food everywhere in the city, especially in the subway tunnels. I urge all fellow NewYorkers to start picking any food you can find from subways to hallways. We can not let the Colorado starvation continue.” , vowed mayor Black Fatty Jr. It is reported that New York City’s Rat-Cross organization has sent 200+ lbs emergency aids from cigarette butts to rotten chicken bones to Colorado in the past 2 weeks.
4. The bone wedding band
This spring, five British couples went to a hospital for a quick jaw biopsy to retrieve bone cells, not to cure any diseases they have, but to retrieve samples to grow their wedding bands. Mixing with liquid nutrients, the bone cell can grow fully around a ring-shaped bioactive ceramic scaffold. Whala! There you go, the everlasting symbol of love of two that is worthless to anybody else.
5. The frog slaughter’s story
We have received report that the site owner of yunasville.com used to be a frog slaughter when she was 10 years old. 1984, Christine, aka Yuna, was attending an elementary school in Shanghai China. During a biology lab, all the students were required to cut half of the frog’s head off and then test the frog’s spinal and nerve system. Christine was trying to hold the live frog in her left hand while working on the cutting. Before the frog’s head came off, she squashed the frog to death spitting its guts all over the place. Apparently, she squeezed the frog too hard. The teacher had to give her a bigger and stronger frog to work on. It was her first and last animal slaughtering experience (excluding flies and bugs).
6. The first person to make a living as a full time photo blogger
Mark Hunter, aka the Cobrasnake, the 20-year-old nobody who is able to snap celebrity’s drunken party photos has been the first person to ever make a living by running a photoblog. He gets himself into the exclusive private parties and start shooting pictures of Paris Hilton, Beck, Johnny Knoxville, Andre 3000, etc… He then publishes the exclusive photos on his site TheCobransnake.com. The gig has won him a book deal, and he is talking meetings with the producers from The Real World and The Simple Life. Nobody knows how he played the tricks to get himself into these awards shows and the private parties. Using his own words, ‘I am the marketing genius.”
See comments section for the correct answers.
Yuna said,
August 3, 2005 @ 12:45 am
Answer key:
1. Yes Sony and Carnegie Mellon has been working together… not on a police robot, but a robot dog soccer team. Everything you read about the police dog is what I want to have.
2.If you think this is true, I will have to knock on your head
3.Alright… if you miss this BIG ONION, you need to go home and drink some more
4.It’s true. Check it out. UK Biojewelry
5.The frog part is true. I am very sorry to the poor frogs. But it wasn’t the last poor animal I killed. I cut a rabbit open in the final lab test to point out the organ structure. That was the last one, I swear.
6. This is no onion. Check out TheCrobasnake
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