Seeking True Happiness - Part I
Ok, so goal-free living doesn’t really mean aimlessly living. And I don’t think anyone can live without a hope or a desire. Then what is it that we desire the most ? My answer? I want true happiness. Everybody has different perspective on what true happiness is. Some say power, some want money to retire early, many of us desire love, and a lot of guys think sex is the true happy moment… 
10 years ago, I believed in achievement = happiness.
“If I could become this and that and make this and that happen, I’d be happy.”
So a few years later I did achieve “this” and “that”, however, I became depressed and illed. Forget about happiness, I wasn’t even healthy. So right there I proved to myself that money and achievement didn’t bring me happiness. So what is it then? It took me a few years to find some answers. So far, I’ve found two ingredients of my true happiness
Ingredient #1– Sharing
I met Jake, Jason and Ryan when I was working on a project in Richmond,VA. We all loved games, computer technology and graphics. So when Jake brought up the topic of the upcoming SIGGraph(Special Interest Group for Computer Graphics) conference in San Diego, we were pretty pumped. But getting there and staying there for a few days was just not realistic given the high cost associated with the trip. At that time, I have saved about half million hotel points and about 150K frequent flyer miles. When I suggested using my hard earned travel rewards to pay for the trip, everybody was shocked, myself included. In my life time, I have never ever given so much to other people. Yes, I volunteer and use my labor to give back a fair share to the society. But money wise? Sorry, no way!
Jake wouldn’t believe it until I picked up the phone and called American Airline to book the tickets. Actually, I couldn’t believe myself doing that either. I was really kicking myself for being an idiot after spending 75,000 miles and 180,000 Marriott Hotel points on a few people I had just met. The San Diego trip was awesome! I think we all bonded from that trip and found each other some true friends. Most importantly, my willingness to share made this wonderful trip possible. Everybody left the sunshine California with a great experience and a piece of beautiful memory.
Ever since then, I became generous with money and my possessions. I took a lot of people to NBA games last season and I am continuing doing it this year; I have organized a few trips and paid for the expenses so other people can also enjoy this wonderful place we live in; I left more tips than I should for the hotel staffs when I was living in the downtown Denver hotels. I am not too big on charity giving. I just feel happy to put some smiles on those ones whom I have encountered because these people are real to me. Sharing what I have with my friends and knowing that they are having a great time truly makes me feel happy too. This kind of joy is something money can’t buy.
I remember the Bible says that we can only serve either God or money. And somewhere in the Bible also says that the true happiness lies in giving. Well, I am not a hardcore Christian, but God does have a point here though.
It’s getting late… so I will write up my true happiness ingredient #2 when I have some time. 
Ron said,
November 11, 2005 @ 9:08 am
A lot of our problems with money are we think it is the end we want. But unless you collect coins, money isn’t the thing you really want. You want money so you can get something else. Freedom, pleasure, time, power, etc.
When I learned this I started asking myself when I wanted money, “What do I want the money for?” Then I could ask, “Can I get that without money?” You’d be amazed how often you can at least get a piece of what you really want with less money than you think.
What you are doing here is finding the joy, not in giving money, but in giving people what they really want. I try to teach my kids that when you give a gift you need to find out what the other person wants, not what you want to give.
My mother-in-law has a tendency to buy me expensive gifts I don’t really want. Little artistic knic-nacs that aren’t my style. I’d rather she find out my favorite candy bar and give me a case of them. Because it really is the thought that counts.
Yuna said,
November 11, 2005 @ 9:52 am
Ron, you really have a lot of wisdom.Thanks for sharing! You are so right that we can get a lot of what we want with much less money than we think. I once thought I would be happy with big house and expensive furniture and electronics.But now I am just as happy by living in a smaller place with much less sophisticated stuff.
And yes, when we give or share, it’s the thought that counts and people are much happier when they know other people care.
Nosaj said,
November 13, 2005 @ 2:24 pm
Yuna,
Speaking of SIGGraph, Ahem. It’s in Boston this year! Late July/Early August. Wanna start making plans to wrestle some people together to go? This time, not on the Mighty Yuna’s travel rewards!
That trip in ‘03 was my first time out West and was an absolute blast! That first meeting at my cube where I ignored you seems like such a distant memory now, especially after that trip - everyone just got to know each other so well. My 2 favorite Yuna moments on that trip were when we were all hanging out in the Presidential Yuna Suite making Roman Cokes - and trying to get you to drink them, and when you were trying to dance on the floor that converted your movements to music / animations. At that time you were a Donkey on the Edge, and the software trying to interpret your ‘moves’ must have thought the same. These days, it’s great to see how much better off you are. The changes you’ve made in your own life in the last 2.5yrs have made you a much happier and better all-around person and it’s been great watching your personal growth. Now if I could only work on my own issues? We all miss you here in Richmond; it’s time for a trip back East!
-Nosaj
Yuna said,
November 13, 2005 @ 10:38 pm
Indeed.. there were a lot of changes in the last 2 and half years… and Nosaj, you probably witnessed them all…I didn’t even remember my “Donkey on hte Edge” moment.. that was funny..
Yeah, we need to find time to get on the phone buddy! So we can work on your “issues”? Maybe you should also start writing a blog?
Marriott Hotel said,
August 24, 2006 @ 9:26 am
Dave…
Interesting topic… I’m working in this industry myself and I don’t agree about this in 100%, but I added your page to my bookmarks and hope to see more interesting articles in the future…
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