Cow’s Life - Thinking Outside Of The Barn

I climb with mostly guys, so sometimes the conversations can go a bit too rough for my ears… but it was all good fun…

Trust the rubber

Climbing background: Climbers wear special rock shoes to climb. The bottom of the shoes is made of special rubber that generates a great deal of friction.
We were at Deckers this past weekend. One of our climbers was on a route that’s consist of two rock surfaces with little or no foot holds. He wouldn’t commit the move so his belayer tried to give him a tip but that didn’t come out right,
“SPREAD YOUR LEGS AND TRUST THE RUBBER!!!”
The girls to our right were rolling…

Yuna’s midget balls

Climbing background: Climbers use chalk or chalk balls to chalk up their hands for better gripping performance.
I was resting on the wall chalking up my hands. I have used the chalk ball for a while so it got really small and slipped through my fingers and fell to the ground. So I yelled to the crowd to apologize,
“Sorry guys, I dropped my ball. It’s too small…. I have another one in my bag!”.
Ever since then, I earned the reputation as a climber with two midget balls.

The crack joke

Climbing background: Crack climbing is a kind of climb where the rock surface is predominantly a crack. It’s very different from the regular surface climb.
I was climbing a really ugly all-crack route where I had no way to cheat with any surface holds. I got so frustrated and didn’t think of the words that came out of my mouth,
“CRAP! I SUCK ON THIS CRACK!”
Then I heard this blast of laughs and someone asked, ‘Whose crack are you sucking on?”