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November 1, 2005 at 11:50 pm
· Filed under Thoughts About Life, Yuna
Or worse: I pissed off my team leader.
I got a phone call from a client director last Friday afternoon about an emergency task we must complete early this week. So, I was heads down doing a bunch of stuff today while my team lead walked in and said, “Christine, I have big issue with you. Come with me. ”
Then, the guy started to get all upset about the work I took from the client director.
Him: You do what I tell you to do!!!
Me: blah blah blah
Him: Do you still not have a single idea how this management structure work?
Me: blah blah blah
Him: You are down there. You don’t talk to the client!!!
Me: blah blah blah..
Him: This is what you should do… (starting drawing charts)
Me: blah blah blah
If this conversation happened when I were in my 20’s, I’d go ballistic on him. And those “blah blah blah” would be
“Oh, don’t you tell me how to do my job! I am an architect too. I have the rights to talk to the client when there is an emergency. Did you check your emails? I sent you a few on the weekend regarding this issue. Don’t scream at me if you don’t check emails!!! Blah blah blah”
But now I am in my 30’s and I know being a hard head is a lose-lose situation for both of us. So, instead of confronting him, I tried to use questions. So back to that conversation:
Him: You do what I tell you to do!!!
Me: Oh. I thought we all work for the client. Is there any misunderstanding here?
Him: Do you still not have a single idea how this management structure work?
Me: Could you please elaborate on that for me since I don’t think we have ever gone through the charts.
Him: You are down there. You don’t talk to the client!!!
Me: How would you like me to handle this situation while the client executive was calling my personal phone on a late Friday afternoon?
Him: This is what you should do… (started drawing charts)
Me: If that is the case, it looks like there is a disconnect. Should we communicate with the client and our project management team to discuss our communication channels? You can let me know once the misunderstanding is cleared and how we should proceed in the future. As of now since we have done quite a bit of work already, how would you like to proceed?
Him: Ok, continue doing what you are doing if that’s what the client has agreed with his management
End of the story. And both of us went back to work afterwards.
I have to admit that I was trying really hard to keep my blood pressure low and my voice down. It was hard to do. But at the end of the day, everybody is just trying to get the job done. So there is really no need to get all worked up between the co-workers. I did find the “question” approach a lot more useful than using the “statement”. I get to direct where the conversation goes since my pissed-off co-worker was a lot more willingly to answer the questions than agreeing with me. Eventually, he said what I wanted to hear.
Ironically, right after my intense discussion with my team lead, Paco and I went ballistic on each other about the Eagles Tailgate post I did yesterday. The post greatly upsets the loyal Eagles fan which I totally understand. However, I completely forgot about my “question” approach and the “remain calm” advice.
A) Paco is a close friend. I can get away from yelling at him. B) Pissing off Paco today doesn’t mean I will lose my promotion or paycheck tomorrow.
I think we do this all the time to the close ones and we are much nicer to the strangers and the coworkers. Patience, logical reasoning, respect, and calm all get tossed out of the window when we are arguing with someone we are close to.
So what did I do after I pissed off Paco? I walked outside for about 20 minutes, came back and made peace with him. 
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Travelling Aussie said,
November 3, 2005 @ 5:43 am
Sounds like your Team Lead has to be in control of everything and dictate what everybody can and can’t do, even if a client asks you directly to do something. Not a good attitude to have on the Team Lead part.
Sounds like you approached it the right way.
Yuna said,
November 3, 2005 @ 10:07 am
He had a reputation of being stressed out all the time… Everybody can tell he is stressed on the project. And maybe since English isn’t his first launguage, he probably doesn’t know intuitively how to talk politely. He often syas things like, “I want you to be in this meeting.” “I need you to finish this for me.” “I don’t like your idea.”. “No, you are doing it wrong.”.. I don’t hear “Could u please.”. “I would like to have it done by… ” ” is it possible for you to attend .. ”
Not a bad guy.. just have different styles..
I can care less now… after all, it’s not worth it to get stressed out on a corporate job. If we are sick, nobody would take care of us but ourselves and our families. So, it’s just not worth it to take work matters personally. I actually discovered that I am more productive when I am relaxed…
Cyco Miko said,
November 3, 2005 @ 10:57 pm
Since I’m in the same business as you, Yuna, I can understand where you team lead is coming from, after all he wants to be sure whatever his team is doing is within the scope of the contract and he properly manage the time and person that’s allocated to that work. Now with that said, I think you handled it extremely well, something for me to learn, and your team lead need to be more professional, and just chill, everybody is stressed out these days, and a good leader should know how to manage not just his own, but everybody else’s stress level, doesn’t really help to shoot your own foot. So, you think he might have a power trip issue? Hehe.
ME Strauss said,
November 4, 2005 @ 1:04 pm
When the client calls someone on the team rather than the team leader these kinds of things can happen, unless the team has been together for sometime and the leader has a certain amount of maturity, and faith in his people.
The client just wants the job done right and it’s an emergency.
One more question to ask, she said with a smile,
OH, so we care more about procedures than we do about the client????
tee-hee
Star Charts said,
September 11, 2006 @ 10:59 pm
Dave…
Interesting topic… I’m working in this industry myself and I don’t agree about this in 100%, but I added your page to my bookmarks and hope to see more interesting articles in the future…
Mortgage Company said,
August 12, 2008 @ 11:20 am
Hey!, been surfing the net for Mortgage Company and found your blog regarding Oops! I Pissed Off My Coworker. You really know your stuff! I’d like to see more posts here. Will definitely bookmark it and come back.
Mortgage Interest Rate said,
August 12, 2008 @ 12:30 pm
Very interesting post. A little bit confusing, but it still ok Hm….